The traditions and the rules of the society play a role on the marriage. When you mary your wife comes to your house its called rukhsati. (Quran, 30:21) Now, every Muslim knows that a man has a right on his wife. The wife cannot get khula and Haq Mehar at the same time. It is best that you wait for your rukhsati before your relationship is taken to the next leval with your husband as i know people do start ponting fingers and laughing at you. The Muslim couple commits a bond for a fixed time duration, they live together after this timeline they can freely live their life. Now rukhsati is still pending, so it is not possible for me to meet my husband's sexual desires. The boy lives in the UK. In pakistan, they don’t consider nikah. I am engaged for more than 3 years with my cousin (she lives in Pakistan, i live in Europe) and we are together for almost 7 years. There is no event to mark the consummation of the marriage. The wedding ceremony itself is where the marriage contract is made official by the signing of the document, indicating she has accepted it of her own free will. Restriction on presents.-No person shall give to either party to the marriage any … how much does a woman have to obey her husband after nikah , before rukhsati, i do not know. The concept of Nikah now and rukhsati (wife going to live with husband) later falls in the category of a promise. The marriage in Islam is the Nikah NOT Rukhsati which … Hazrat Ali (Raziallahu Anhu) was married to Hazrat Fatimah (Raziallahu Anha) in 1 Hijra year while the Rukhsati took place in 2 Hijra after the Battle of Badr. In addition to the usual marriage until death or divorce, there is a different fixed-term marriage known as zawāj al-mutʻah ("pleasure marriage") (p1045) permitted only by the Twelver branch of Shi'ite Islam for a pre-fixed period. When you mary your wife comes to your house its called rukhsati. Your sex life is none of their business you do not need their permission. She has to leave a part of it in place of khula either it is khula before rukhsati or khula after rukhsati. Puberty age limit was restricted and special to only Hazrat Ayesha رضي الله عنها or all daughters of Arab become adult in 9 years age? You seem to want to convince and prove to your parents that it's okay for you to have sex with your own wife. Our shadi back home is not planned before next September (if global pandemic siguation gets better). Your sex life with your wife is you guys private business and not something you should have to prove or debate to anyone. They may do it for various social or personal reasons. You have to mary them in a cultural way and the bride have to live permanently in your house... More posts from the MuslimMarriage community. ive never heard of any scholar that gave the opinion that theres no intimacy before waleema, infact its quite the opposite, waleema is done after the marriage is consummated. Hi everyone i’m writing today because I don’t know what to do. The problem is that my parents and her parents don’t want us to sleep together nor to be anyway close to each other just because we are only getting married and our shadi aka rukhsati is not done yet. Shaykh Saalih al-Fawzaan said: The time for giving the wedding feast flexible, starting from the time of the marriage contract until the end of the days of the wedding. Now between this period if husband and wife meet in private is this ok ? Brother Islam (There may be some grammatical and spelling errors in the above … Ultimately I think it depends what your wife wants as well. Due to some financial reasons my 'rukhsati' (shifting to my husband's house) cannot take place till the end of next year. It is permissible to delay the consumption of marriage (rukhsati) for a later and more convenient date with no specific time limit as long as they both mutually agree on it until the circumstances are right for them. They consider mariage aka shadi. Once a nikah is performed, it will be valid irrespective of whether mention of any mahr was made or not. so even though weve been engaged for like 2 years, and we live very close, we cant be together cuz they wont let us do nikaah. From a technical perspective, when a man and women have their nikah done, islamically they are considered a husband and wife. Firstly is this permissable, secondly if we do Nikkah are we allowed to have sexual relations before Rukhsati? As Islam say when Nikah is done then she is your wife. if rukhsati takes place some time after nikah, after six months of such rukhsati. maybe you could compromise. Although the document itself must be agreed upon by the groom, the bride, and the bride's father or another her male family members, the bride's consent is required for the marriage to proceed. (p242) There is also Nikah Misyar, a non-temporary marriage with the removal of some conditions such as living together, permitted by some Sunni scholars. Rukhsati has no basis in Islam. You don't actually have to convince your parents of anything, nothing is stopping you guys from just doing your own thing. Sometimes, the consummation is delayed because the family wants to have a big party to invite many relatives and friends to celebrate their marriage. Therefore, no nikah can be performed secretly. I have been in nikah for quite some time, but I still cannot hope to live with my wife anywhere in the next future, because of certain reasons which have social and cultural bases. I mean...what are they going to do? Islamically, just ghe nikah being done means you're married. They consider mariage aka shadi. but the only way is to fight fire with fire. It's almost like he hasn't realised he has the full ability to go on any honeymoon he wishes and his parents have no dictation or control over him nor does he need to explain or justify himself to them. Press J to jump to the feed. Viewed 2k times 1. Basically I am looking to do my Nikah in the next few days, but the brides family want the bride to stay with the family until after Ramadan. Plus we are 6 at home and its a small flat. Talaq Without Rukhsati. 4. It's a question of balancing cultural and parental wishes against what you what. One issue that I can think of is that if you guys were to be intimate, and somehow she gets pregnant or your families find out, i think it will look bad on you guys but worse on her because of our misogynistic society. After Rukhsati the spouses begin living together as husband and wife. 1. Answered by: Mufti Eunus Ali . For some reason we have to get civically married in my country before she can eventually come and live with me permanently. But just by engaging in the debate you are already harming your position (look up the jade technique for family members). Marriage in Pakistan (Urdu: پاکستانی شادی ‎) pertains to wedding traditions established and adhered by Pakistani men and women.Despite their local and regional variations, marriages in Pakistan generally follow Islamic marital jurisprudence. You can choose to defy your parents, or you can try to stand up to them and convince them, or you can accept their limits. Her parents and my parents are both from pakistan and they say its culturally incompatible to sleep with someone even with only nikah done. There is nothing stopping him from doing whatever he wants. anyways, i feel u man, these cultural things are so annoying. However, i was just wondering about the type of relationship a husband a wife have before the actual rukhsati? She just keep listening her mom, aunt and sister to not sleep with me because they don’t want her to get pregnant and so on. A formal, binding contract – verbal or on paper – is considered integral to a religiously valid Islamic marriage, and outlines the rights and responsibilities of the groom and bride. The marriage in Islam is the Nikah NOT Rukhsati which is a cultural carry–over of the Indian subcontinent. Is there any time limit, within that time the bride and groom should have completed there intimate relation (Honeymoon)? They may do it for various social or personal reasons. Departure/Rukhsati of 9 years young doll is still not possible. Therefore, if the general culture entails the absolute ‘abstinence’ during that period then this should be maintained and respected. Not even my parents of her parents. Subhana Rabbi al Adheem. 4. My fiance thinks that we should be allowed to do whatever we want but from on one hand she says we will be halal for each other hand she says that this is pakistani culture and I have to listen parents and so on. I am aware that this is an acceptible practice. Difference between nikah and muta marriage Her parents and my parents are both from pakistan and they say its culturally incompatible to sleep with someone even with only nikah done. In most cases the Rukhsati takes place within a few hours after Nikah, but sometimes families postpone the consummation of marriage or Rukhsati for a later time. So all I can say is that you know your parents best so it's up to you how you go about this. Rukhsati takes place after the Nikah. 1. Marriage is meant to save us from sins; but my situation is that even though I am married, I am still left unprotected from these sins. Rukhsati takes place after the nikah. Physical Relationship after Nikah but before Rukhsati - I want to ask you a question about which there seems to be a bit of confusion in our society. The boy lives in the UK. Mera shohar agr mujhe kahin aane jaane se rokta hai aur mujhe mere waledain ki vaja se jaana parta hai to is mamle men mujhe shariyat kia hukum deti hai? It is permissible to delay the consumption of marriage (rukhsati) for a later and more convenient date with no specific time limit as long as they both mutually agree on it until the circumstances are right for them. Rukhsati or no rukhsati does not change your marital status so you can talaq before rukhsati and talaq after rukhsati … (2) No dowry, bridal gifts or presents may be given before or after six months of nikah and if rukhsati takes place some time after nikah, after six months of such rukhsati. Now rukhsati is still pending, so it is not possible for me to meet my husband's sexual desires. Two months after the battle, Fatima Zahra, the daughter of Muhammad Mustafa, and Ali, the son of Abu Talib were married. if u cant treat her like a wife, then u have no responsibility over her. I have had my nikah. history does not provide such references. There are many love gurus who can give you love marriage tips and relationship advises. Thus it is fundamentally wrong to put restrictions on the degree and nature of contact between couples after the Nikah has occurred. I have been in nikah for quite some time, but I still cannot hope to live with my wife anywhere in the next future, because of certain reasons which have social and cultural bases. But our Nikah was really nice, we had a full gathering and many many pictures. Many Pakistani's who live abroad only have the Nikah and the bride stays with her parents for some period of time (during which her visa etc can be arranged). It’s a 90 days minimum proceeding whereas there is no time limit for the maximum days of proceedings which is most of the time misused also. You can do everything you want. once nikaah is done, she is ur wife and they cant hold u back in anyway, it is ur legal right to be with her and take her where ever u want. 2020 Ⓒ Darul Ifta - Darul Uloom Deoband, India, (2) It is allowed to have sexual relation after. Culturally, marriages are not only seen as a union between a husband and a wife, but also an alliance between their respective families. Although the document itself must be agreed upon by the groom, the bride, and the bride's father or another her male family members, the bride's consent is required for the marriage to proceed. I do see it a bit baseless islamically that you have a responsibility to pay all her expenses but no right to intimacy with her. Wondering what female villain you're most like? Rukhsati se pehle biwi pe wajib nahi hai ke wo bahar jaane ke liye shauhar ki ijazat lein. Are we still allowed to live together – user5065 Apr 21 '14 at 11:39. Nikah is not only an agreement between two people. Nikah is not only an agreement between two people. 1. Civil marriage is performed under the supervision of civil authorities. Nikah is the sacred tie between husband and wife, that sincere and devoted love without which they cannot attain happiness and peace of mind. Maybe some of you can help me. During this period between the nikah and the rukhsati, it is permissible for the couple to interact with each other in a manner that is permissible for a husband and wife including the actual consummation of marriage. Alhumdullilah I am working and I live with my parents. Islamic and civil marriages are not two distinct concepts. The Nikah ceremony. Equal actions from both you and your wife but she might have to deal with the consequences more than you. although their issue isnt cultural, rather more of a precaution, cuz in their experience couples who had large gaps between nikaah and rukhsati began to have issues and the marriages broke, i dont agree with that cuz in our case we arent doing it randomly, its cuz of necessity that were having a gap. thats the sunnah method. 1. Therefore, no nikah can be performed secretly. AOA, brothers i hve marriage just after 2 days later but it will be just nikah and rukhsati will be after 6 or 7 months so my question is that it is a Why every time girls have to shut their mind soul and feelings even after nikah (rukhsti is in coming Nov) he wants to have full intimacy. Menu. There were some texts between girl and boy but no telephonic call. Rukhsati se pehle biwi pe wajib nahi hai ke wo bahar jaane ke liye shauhar ki ijazat lein . ... You are married once you have done your nikah. Rukhsati is not necessary just after Nikah. Rukhsati is strictly a cultural thing and it has nothing to do with Islam. But if all your families and wider community knows you are already married then I don’t see why it should be too much of an issue religiously but at the same time don’t take my word for it because I don’t want to lead anyone to sin. What does your fiancée want? Civil marriage is performed under the supervision of civil authorities. Shia Muslims believe in the temporary conducted wedding known as ‘Nikah Al Mutah’. December 17, 2020 Divorce [484] Fatwa ID: 04710 . (2) No dowry, bridal gifts or presents may be given before or after six months of nikah and if rukhsati takes place some time after nikah, after six months of such rukhsati. وَالْعَصْرِ إِنَّ الْإِنسَانَ لَفِي خُسْ The other issue is about the time lag between Nikah and Rukhsati and union between the spouses. 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